hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
