She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
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She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
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The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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