ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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