If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
