I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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