I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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