You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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