hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
