I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
