remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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