Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
