I skipped work to stalk him.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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