Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize