i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just found puke in my bra..
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
