physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize