Betty ford says i'm here all night
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
