your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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