How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
