dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
