I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
