I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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