yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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