My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize