I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize