dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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