trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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