i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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