My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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