fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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