census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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