I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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