I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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