she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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