Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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