I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
