no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
