I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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