She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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