would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
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