i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
