So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
