You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize