can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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