hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
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