Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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