I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
