I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize