she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just tell him i said nine months
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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