So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
