i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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