That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize