I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize