So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
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i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
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I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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