He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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