but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
