i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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